Ogechi Irondi, IRT ’20
In my culture names have meanings that oftentimes become what you strive to do within your life or, in some cases, who you become. My name, Ogechi, means “in God’s timing”. Outside of religion and spiritual belief, my name reflects what we all know: we cannot control when or how things happen in our lives. I have been intentional in living up to my name by letting go, leaning into uncertainty, and taking things day-by-day. My PhD journey is one that very much follows this idea. I first applied to doctoral programs in 2015 when I was a 5th grade teacher. At that time, I did not know why I wanted to pursue a doctorate only that I should. I was running from a challenging work environment into what I thought was the obvious next step after reviewing a master’s degree. Thankfully, I was unanimously rejected from every school I applied to. Though I was heartbroken, I was given time to figure out what I wanted, what I was passionate about, why I cared, and what I wanted to do when I left the classroom. It was in those years that I truly developed and understood my “why”. Then, in 2020, during a global pandemic, I applied again. This time, I was accepted into two universities: one that I wanted and the one that I needed.
The summer before my program started was a summer of fear. Did I make the right matriculation decision? Would I be taken seriously if I didn’t attend the big-name university? Was I being logical in uprooting my entire life? How would I financially provide for myself? And the loudest questions of all: Am I good enough? Would I fail? Like many IRT scholars, I have multiple identities that were never meant to succeed in higher education. Failure for people like me sometimes seems inevitable. I spent my summer talking to everyone I knew to better understand what I should expect from this program. From them I realized that there is no “right” way to do graduate school. Each program is different, and everyone’s path takes its own course. The only guarantee is that it rarely goes according to plan and that is ok. There was no point in thinking about anyone else’s journey or comparing my worth or value to another’s. This experience was mine alone and it was an experience that I was determined to make the most of. For myself, for my family, and for my students.
That summer also taught me something else: I needed to be open, to take initiative, and to pursue anything that sounded interesting to me. One of my best friends told me to talk to faculty whose classes I enjoyed and ask for opportunities to collaborate. As an indecisive introvert, this was easier said than done. During the fall of my 1st year, I leaned into this advice and was able to make amazing professional relationships. These connections provided me with opportunities that I would not have known of otherwise and allowed me to achieve two of my professional goals along the way.
As I enter my 3rd year, I am very much still on this journey. There are still days that I worry that I cannot do this program, this workload, or academia more generally. I know that I am smart enough, but I sometimes wonder if I am strong enough to handle not only the academic strain but the challenge of navigating this institution in this body, with this culture, and with my values. However, as time goes on, those voices get quieter, my community grows larger, and the celebrations are a whole lot louder. Each day, I am more confident in the decisions that I have made and in my ability to succeed.
Throughout it all, I try to remember my “why” and allow it to be the guiding light for the classes I take, the projects I engage in, the people I connect with, and the job opportunities I accept. More than anything, I hold onto my “why” as a reminder that I will complete this program and I will grow along the way.
My timeline may or may not be typical. There may be others in my program that are moving through their requirements quicker or others that are taking more time. I try to remember that those details don’t really matter. I am not in competition with anyone else. I will do this doctorate my way. I will prioritize myself and stay physically, emotionally, and mentally healthy throughout the process. Being in this space is a privilege, so as I continue on this path that no one in my family has ever seen, a path littered with barriers and hurdles designed to keep me away, I will form meaningful relationships with those who are just beginning their journey and those who are well on their way, for I have much to learn and much to share.
Whether it is today or whether it is tomorrow, I try to remember that everything happens in time.
Ogechi Irondi, IRT ’20 is a predoctoral fellow in the School of Education at the University of Pittsburgh.
Institute for Recruitment of Teachers 