Reflections on Growth and Transformation
As our IRT Cohort wrapped up their graduate school applications, we came together for our third IRTA meeting to celebrate how far each scholar has come. I designed a four-quadrant reflection activity that asked them to explore the wisdom they’d reclaimed, the resistance they’d pushed through, the relationships they’d built, and the uncertainties they’d learned to navigate. What unfolded was a powerful portrait of collective growth, individual transformation, and mentorship as a practice of reciprocity.
Discovering Worth: From Doubt to Recognition
One of the most striking revelations across the cohort was the journey from self-doubt to self-recognition. Many scholars entered the process underestimating the value of their own experiences, whether due to imposter syndrome, unfamiliar academic contexts, or comparison with traditional paths.
“I thought it would be seen as a ‘burden’ or reason that schools may not see me as a good candidate,” shared one parent scholar in our cohort, speaking about balancing family responsibilities with academic aspirations. Through the statement of purpose advisor (SOPA) process, they learned to reframe this not as a liability but as evidence of resilience and commitment.
Another scholar, who had spent years in community-based work rather than traditional research settings, initially worried about their unconventional background: “I thought that me working at the Y wasn’t as valuable as being published, having a research background, or interning at a fancy firm.” Their SOPA helped them recognize that direct community engagement offered irreplaceable insights for their research.
For those completing undergraduate honors theses, the process illuminated accomplishments they had taken for granted. “I hadn’t fully conceptualized that I have already written a research proposal, done a lit review, done independent archival research,” one scholar reflected, realizing they had already developed sophisticated research skills.
The recognition extended to seemingly simple achievements that carry significant weight in graduate admissions. “My SOPA helped me see that experiences I took for granted (e.g., language proficiency, archival trips) were actually impressive achievements that needed to be reframed appropriately,” noted another IRT-er.
Perhaps most poignantly, a scholar with 17 years of experience in education shared how the process helped them articulate values they had always known but struggled to express: “My experience working in inner city schools have helped me with thoughts and questions centered around educating our black and brown students.”
Breaking Free: Unlearning Harmful Patterns
The path to authentic storytelling required scholars to confront and dismantle barriers,some external, many internalized. Imposter syndrome emerged as a near-universal challenge, manifesting in different ways across the cohort.
“I had to unlearn imposter syndrome,” one scholar declared. “Stop thinking I need to prove that I belong and arrive knowing this is my place and where God has called me.” This shift from proving to knowing represented a fundamental transformation in how they approached their applications.
For many, the technical act of writing itself had become paralyzed by perfectionism. “One of my biggest takeaways from this process was my SOPA’s suggestion to let the writing flow first then edit later,” shared one IRT-er. “I hadn’t realized until this point that I had built a habit of editing while I wrote, meaning that I was hindering my own writing process.” This simple but powerful shift; permission to be imperfect in first drafts unlocked creativity and authenticity for multiple scholars.
Others struggled with the pressure to conform to perceived expectations. “I was trying to pack my SOP with a personal uniqueness at times but I slowly became more comfortable with the standard format that made my application more legible but authentic,” one scholar explained, finding the balance between standing out and fitting in.
A particularly powerful breakthrough came for those learning to set boundaries around feedback. “I really had to stand my ground and firmly and professionally say no to some feedback especially on things like the SOP and my writing sample because ultimately this is MY research,” one scholar asserted. “I think scholars are amazing people but I have realized that sometimes they might want to sway you to align your research with their own and I had to establish where I saw my own work.”
The work of reframing personal narratives proved especially challenging and rewarding. “It’s not a sob story, stop thinking about it this way,” one scholar realized. “I went through a lot and people should know that not to gain sympathy or pity but to see that I accomplished things even with all challenges. I didn’t give up.”
Another scholar learned an important lesson about boundaries in storytelling: “It’s okay if my authentic story is not my whole personal story. There are parts of my personal life that don’t need to make it to the application.”
The SOPA Relationship: Modeling Mentorship
Scholars consistently described their SOPA experiences as transformative models for the kind of mentorship they hope to find in graduate school.
“My SOPA is absolutely amazing,” one scholar shared with evident emotion. “He understood those weeks that were absolutely hectic for me and I didn’t have a lot of time to work on my SOP. He helped me reframe my writing and never judged my word vomit. But most importantly, he took the time to get to know me and understood that I am human first.”
The flexibility and personalization of these relationships emerged as crucial elements. “Having regular meetings, a mentor who knows me by name and what’s going on in my life, has shared interests and a genuine desire to support students,” one scholar explained. “Felt very personalized and had flexibility to take what I needed and leave what I was okay with.”
For some, the SOPA relationship revealed important insights about their own collaboration preferences. “Through this flexibility, I finally learned that my preferred style of feedback is written (ideally on a separate document). I’m excited to be able to ground my requests for feedback in this preferred style moving forward!” This self-knowledge will serve scholars well as they navigate future mentorship relationships.
Others valued the balance of support and independence. “I really thrive when a mentor allows me to ask for what I need, and I hope that my relationship with my advisor in graduate school is like this,” shared one scholar who appreciated being given agency in the relationship.
The quality of SOPA feedback made a significant difference. “She was super supportive and very open to communication via email and Slack! 10/10 experience and she was also very kind in her feedback even when I asked her to be brutally honest. She also gave a lot of feedback and talked through with me about the process and let me sometimes just have her be a sounding board.”
Practical support mattered too. “Twice a week check in made me stay on top of new tasks and edits,” one scholar noted. “I feel like I can function independently but checking helped me realize my blind spots in writing.”
Several scholars mentioned the importance of shared understanding. “Having the background of both being from the AUC, came in with a level of understanding of each other’s time and intention with our meetings,” one noted. Another valued how their SOPA “held me accountable with great patience, would not ask for anyone different, insights, cultural experiences, similar culture, intersectionality has made me feel isolated.”
Perhaps most importantly, SOPAs helped participants grow as scholars. “I think that they helped me think differently as a scholar and how to write as a scholar which is something that I had a lot of difficulty with but it’s something necessary, especially if I want to be in a field where I’m mentoring other students.”
Navigating Uncertainty: What Comes Next
Scholars carry a mix of hope, anxiety, and pragmatic planning as they submit their applications. Financial concerns surfaced repeatedly, with many worrying about funding packages and the possibility of debt. Family considerations weighed heavily for some, particularly those with young children questioning whether this is the right timing.
Yet alongside anxiety, scholars demonstrated remarkable resilience and perspective. “I am open to possibilities outside of going straight into grad school,” one IRT-er. “Even though I do hope I get into graduate school, I also am aware that life can throw curveballs, and I am more than willing to venture on other paths until I get to where I want to be.”
Another scholar, applying for their third cycle, showed hard-won wisdom: “If I don’t get in well, I already have a back up plan and that’s to get a new job.” This practical planning coexists with genuine hope. This time, they noted, “I aimed for programs in education or professors who had close alignment with what I want to study. I also now have specific research questions and methodologies in addition to even more research experience.”
Some scholars worked to release catastrophic thinking. “The only ‘what if’ I’m carrying is what if I don’t get in anywhere and I spend all of 2025 doing this work for nothing? While graduate applications are competitive, I think that’s very catastrophic thinking and needs to be released.”
Others grappled with field-specific anxieties. “I think that the doubts I have are that my work isn’t historical enough to be considered in a history department even though the majority of my programs that I’m applying to are history programs,” one scholar worried, though they had been reassured it was “a mixed methods issue and not a conceptual issue.”
The vulnerability in these reflections was palpable: “What if I made a mistake somewhere in my application? How will I know if I’m ever enough? How can I let that go?”
Looking Forward
What becomes clear from these reflections is that scholars, alongside their IRTA’s and SOPA’s have catalyzed transformation far beyond the mechanics of application writing. Scholars have learned to value their experiences, trust their voices, set boundaries, embrace imperfection, and envision the kind of mentorship they deserve. They have built community with each other and formed meaningful relationships with their IRTA’s and SOPAs.
As one scholar put it, the process helped them move from proving to knowing, from constantly justifying their place to understanding they already belong. Whether they receive acceptances this cycle or find alternative paths forward, they carry with them deeper self-knowledge, scholarly confidence, and clarity about their research interests.
The IRT Cohort has honored their journeys. Now, they wait with hope, prepare with pragmatism, and move forward with the wisdom they have reclaimed.
Malama pono (take good care),
Catherine
Catherine Wong
Associate Director & Manager of Programs
Institute for Recruitment of Teachers 